Ihave dwelt on the circumstances of my early life and told of an affliction which compelled me to unremitting exercise of imagination and self observation.This mental activity,at first involuntary under the pressure of illness and suffering,gradually became second nature and led me finally to recognize that Iwas but an automaton devoid of free will in thought and action and merely responsive to the forces of the environment.Our bodies are of such complexity of structure,the motions we perform are so numerous and involved,and the external impressions on our sense organs to such a degree delicate and elusive that it is hard for the average person to grasp this fact.And yet nothing is more convincing to the trained investigator than the mechanistic theory of life which had been,in a measure,understood and propounded by Descartes three hundred years ago.But in his time many important functions of our organism were unknown and,especially with respect to the nature of light and the construction and operation of the eye,philosophers were in the dark.
In recent years the progress of scientific research in these fields has been such as to leave no room for a doubt in regard to this view on which many works have been published.One of its ablest and most eloquent exponents is,perhaps,Felix Le Dantec,formerly assistant of Pasteur.Prof.Jacques Loeb has performed remarkable experiments in heliotropism,clearly establishing the controlling power of light in lower forms of organisms,and his latest book,Forced Movements,is revelatory.But while men of science accept this theory simply as any other that is recognized,to me it is a truth which Ihourly demonstrate by every act and thought of mine.The consciousness of the external impression prompting me to any kind of exertion,physical or mental,is ever present in my mind.Only on very rare occasions,when Iwas in a state of exceptional concentration,have Ifound difficulty in locating the original impulses.
The by far greater number of human beings are never aware of what is passing around and within them,and millions fall victims of disease and die prematurely just on this account.The commonest every-day occurrences appear to them mysterious and inexplicable.One may feel a sudden wave of sadness and rake his brain for an explanation when he might have noticed that it was caused by a cloud cutting off the rays of the sun.He may see the image of a friend dear to him under conditions which he construes as very peculiar,when only shortly before he has passed him in the street or seen his photograph somewhere.When he loses a collar button he fusses and swears for an hour,being unable to visualize his previous actions and locate the object directly.Deficient observation is merely a form of ignorance and responsible for the many morbid notions and foolish ideas prevailing.There is not more than one out of every ten persons who does not believe in telepathy and other psychic manifestations,spiritualism and communion with the dead,and who would refuse to listen to willing or unwilling deceivers.
Just to illustrate how deeply rooted this tendency has become even among the clearheaded American population,Imay mention a comical incident.Shortly before the war,when the exhibition of my turbines in this city elicited widespread comment in the technical papers,Ianticipated that there would be a scramble among manufacturers to get hold of the invention,and Ihad particular designs on that man from Detroit who has an uncanny faculty for accumulating millions.So confident was Ithat he would turn up some day,that Ideclared this as certain to my secretary and assistants.Sure enough,one fine morning a body of engineers from the Ford Motor Company presented themselves with the request of discussing with me an important project."Didn"t Itell you?"Iremarked triumphantly to my employees,and one of them said,"You are amazing,Mr.Tesla;everything comes out exactly as you predict."As soon as these hard-headed men were seated I,of course,immediately began to extol the wonderful features of my turbine,when the spokesmen interrupted me and said,"We know all about this,but we are on a special errand.We have formed a psychological society for the investigation of psychic phenomena and we want you to join us in this undertaking."Isuppose those engineers never knew how near they came to being fired out of my office.
Ever since Iwas told by some of the greatest men of the time,leaders in science whose names are immortal,that Iam possessed of an unusual mind,Ibent all my thinking faculties on the solution of great problems regardless of sacrifice.For many years Iendeavored to solve the enigma of death,and watched eagerly for every kind of spiritual indication.But only once in the course of my existence have Ihad an experience which momentarily impressed me as supernatural.It was at the time of my mother"s death.
