登陆注册
19901600000084

第84章

She had let go the outer world, but within herself she was unbroken and unimpaired.She only sat in her room like a moping, dishevelled hawk, motionless, mindless.Her children, for whom she had been so fierce in her youth, now meant scarcely anything to her.She had lost all that, she was quite by herself.Only Gerald, the gleaming, had some existence for her.But of late years, since he had become head of the business, he too was forgotten.Whereas the father, now he was dying, turned for compassion to Gerald.There had always been opposition between the two of them.Gerald had feared and despised his father, and to a great extent had avoided him all through boyhood and young manhood.And the father had felt very often a real dislike of his eldest son, which, never wanting to give way to, he had refused to acknowledge.He had ignored Gerald as much as possible, leaving him alone.

Since, however, Gerald had come home and assumed responsibility in the firm, and had proved such a wonderful director, the father, tired and weary of all outside concerns, had put all his trust of these things in his son, implicitly, leaving everything to him, and assuming a rather touching dependence on the young enemy.This immediately roused a poignant pity and allegiance in Gerald's heart, always shadowed by contempt and by unadmitted enmity.

For Gerald was in reaction against Charity; and yet he was dominated by it, it assumed supremacy in the inner life, and he could not confute it.

So he was partly subject to that which his father stood for, but he was in reaction against it.Now he could not save himself.A certain pity and grief and tenderness for his father overcame him, in spite of the deeper, more sullen hostility.

The father won shelter from Gerald through compassion.But for love he had Winifred.She was his youngest child, she was the only one of his children whom he had ever closely loved.And her he loved with all the great, overweening, sheltering love of a dying man.He wanted to shelter her infinitely, infinitely, to wrap her in warmth and love and shelter, perfectly.If he could save her she should never know one pain, one grief, one hurt.He had been so right all his life, so constant in his kindness and his goodness.And this was his last passionate righteousness, his love for the child Winifred.Some things troubled him yet.The world had passed away from him, as his strength ebbed.There were no more poor and injured and humble to protect and succour.These were all lost to him.There were no more sons and daughters to trouble him, and to weigh on him as an unnatural responsibility.These too had faded out of reality All these things had fallen out of his hands, and left him free.

There remained the covert fear and horror of his wife, as she sat mindless and strange in her room, or as she came forth with slow, prowling step, her head bent forward.But this he put away.Even his life-long righteousness, however, would not quite deliver him from the inner horror.Still, he could keep it sufficiently at bay.It would never break forth openly.Death would come first.

Then there was Winifred! If only he could be sure about her, if only he could be sure.Since the death of Diana, and the development of his illness, his craving for surety with regard to Winifred amounted almost to obsession.It was as if, even dying, he must have some anxiety, some responsibility of love, of Charity, upon his heart.

She was an odd, sensitive, inflammable child, having her father's dark hair and quiet bearing, but being quite detached, momentaneous.She was like a changeling indeed, as if her feelings did not matter to her, really.

She often seemed to be talking and playing like the gayest and most childish of children, she was full of the warmest, most delightful affection for a few things -- for her father, and for her animals in particular.But if she heard that her beloved kitten Leo had been run over by the motor-car she put her head on one side, and replied, with a faint contraction like resentment on her face: `Has he?' Then she took no more notice.She only disliked the servant who would force bad news on her, and wanted her to be sorry.She wished not to know, and that seemed her chief motive.She avoided her mother, and most of the members of her family.She loved her Daddy, because he wanted her always to be happy, and because he seemed to become young again, and irresponsible in her presence.She liked Gerald, because he was so self-contained.She loved people who would make life a game for her.She had an amazing instinctive critical faculty, and was a pure anarchist, a pure aristocrat at once.For she accepted her equals wherever she found them, and she ignored with blithe indifference her inferiors, whether they were her brothers and sisters, or whether they were wealthy guests of the house, or whether they were the common people or the servants.

She was quite single and by herself, deriving from nobody.It was as if she were cut off from all purpose or continuity, and existed simply moment by moment.

The father, as by some strange final illusion, felt as if all his fate depended on his ensuring to Winifred her happiness.She who could never suffer, because she never formed vital connections, she who could lose the dearest things of her life and be just the same the next day, the whole memory dropped out, as if deliberately, she whose will was so strangely and easily free, anarchistic, almost nihilistic, who like a soulless bird flits on its own will, without attachment or responsibility beyond the moment, who in her every motion snapped the threads of serious relationship with blithe, free hands, really nihilistic, because never troubled, she must be the object of her father's final passionate solicitude.

When Mr Crich heard that Gudrun Brangwen might come to help Winifred with her drawing and modelling he saw a road to salvation for his child.

同类推荐
热门推荐
  • 凤殇

    凤殇

    秀眉隽隽,其目濯濯。他说:我苏夜涵今生能遇见你是何其之幸?所以今后无论如何,我绝不会让你离开我,绝不会。她说:不管境况怎么变,你站在哪里,我就陪着你站在哪里。为煞星者灭,相克者生。她说:你是天子,是万民景仰的圣上,岂可将自己的克星、煞星留于身侧,迷乱朝纲,祸国殃民?若是如此,我当初又为何要帮你?他说:若没有你,这一切于我而言,皆无意义。我可以不要这帝位,这江山,这千秋基业……我只要你在我身边……命数劫,君王天下错。他说:衣凰,鸾凤和鸣,双宿双飞,然则如今,你在哪里?
  • 荏苒的是时光

    荏苒的是时光

    三班学校里的风云班级这个不平凡的班级有着不平凡的人有着不平凡的故事有着不平凡的你我他四十七个人因为在这个班级里终将会不平凡
  • 黄帝阴符经注

    黄帝阴符经注

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。
  • 荒古大帝在都市

    荒古大帝在都市

    荒古大帝始终抵不住时光流逝,灵魂在岁月长河沉睡亿年,苏醒后附陨石来到地球投于一个上高中男孩的身体,此后便开始了一段奇特的都市神话!
  • 九娘自叙

    九娘自叙

    老年后的她躺在摇椅上回想着自己的一生。。。。回想自己的一生,她觉得自己过的很精彩也不曾后悔。注意:本文世界是架空世界,这个世界是古代中国和现代中国还有一点点西方魔幻的融合架空。女主是这个架空世界的人,幼年比较苦,然后慢慢成长。此文慢热~十分慢热~人物感情线多,爱情不是主线哦。-----------------------------------不大会写简介,不好意思不好意思~这是我认真写的第一本小说吧。文笔实在青涩,希望大家多多包含,提意见。在此谢谢大家了~
  • 细说北京街巷地名

    细说北京街巷地名

    北京作为元明清三朝的帝都,其街巷地名大都带着浓厚的人文色彩。老城区是一个非常具有特色的建筑群,大街小巷的基本格局奠基于元代,形成于明代,清代虽有变动,但总格局未改变。它们与古都一起经历了历史沧桑,随着朝代的更迭和城市的发展,有的已为历史所淹没,有的不止一次地更名改姓。
  • 孤星问路

    孤星问路

    爱,在云之端。恨,抢生尽头。情,莫言追逐。仇,仗剑秒生。这个世界,飘飘渺渺。修真之路,崎岖坎坷。神之牢笼,记载七千魄固阴镜后。鸿钧的《孤星问路》又带给穆明一个怎样的世界呢?
  • 上班赚钱下班理财大全集(超值金版)

    上班赚钱下班理财大全集(超值金版)

    本书是一部专为中国工薪阶层精心准备、量身打造的理财教案。全书从“上班赚钱”、“下班理财”两大层面进行论述。“上班赚钱”部分着重论述要以的职业精神和正确的工作态度全力以赴对从事工作,像对待生命一样对待工作,才能从工作中获得回报,在职场中谋求生存和发展。同时阐明了智慧工作的准则和技巧,激励人们创造优秀的业绩,从同行中脱颖而出,得到老板的赏识,成功升职加薪,让职业前景更为光明。
  • 邪圣重生

    邪圣重生

    经历了一世痛苦与磨难的任逍遥,获得了再活一次的机会,重新回到少年时代的他,又拥有了无上的功法,将会开启怎样的神奇?拯救亲人,留住爱人,痛踩仇人,让前世的一切不幸与不爽,全都烟消云散。而我,要成为星空下的最强者!
  • 第N次初恋

    第N次初恋

    朋友A:沈笑恋爱了,这次是个白领!朋友B:沈笑谈恋爱了,这次是个高翻!朋友C:沈笑又谈恋爱了……朋友F:徐晋,沈笑谈了这么多对象,你不急?徐晋淡淡地扫了他的诸位朋友一眼:没听过大奖总是最后颁吗?