One Is,How He Can Appear So Wrathful And Yet Be So Gracious The Servant.--Three things there are at which I marvel very much;one is,that Thou shouldst be beyond all measure so amiable Thyself,and yet so severe a judge of evil deeds.Lord,when I reflect on Thy severe justice,my heart with passionate voice exclaims:"Woe to all who persist in sin!"for did they but know the strict account of every single sin,which Thou wilt infallibly require,even from Thy very dearest friends,they would sooner pluck out their teeth and hair than ever provoke Thy anger!Woe is me!How very terrible is Thy angry countenance,how very intolerable Thy ungentle averted looks!So full of fire are Thy threatening words that they cut through heart and soul.Shield me,O Lord,from Thy wrathful countenance,and extend not Thy vengeance against me to the next world.Lo!when I only doubt,lest,because of my guilty deeds Thou mayest have turned Thy face angrily away from me,it is a thing so insupportable,that nothing in all this world is so bitter to me.Oh,my Lord and Father,how could my heart endure Thy angry countenance for ever!When I but seriously reflect on Thy countenance inflamed with anger,my soul is so horrified,all my strength is so shaken,that I can liken it to nothing else than to the heavens beginning to darken and grow black,to fire raging in the clouds,and to a mighty thunder rending them,so that the earth trembles,and fiery bolts dart down upon men.Lord,let no one confide in Thy silence,for verily Thy silence will soon be turned to dreadful thunder.Lord,the angry countenance of Thy Fatherly anger to that man who is fearful of provoking and losing Thee,is a hell above all hells.I will say nothing of that furious countenance of Thine which the wicked at the last day will have to behold in bitterness of heart.Woe,everlasting woe to those who shall have to expect so great a calamity!
Lord,all this is a profound mystery to my heart,and yet Thou sayest that Thou art so gracious and so good.
Eternal Wisdom.--I am the immutable good,and subsist the same and am the same.But that I do not appear the same,arises from the difference of those who view Me differently,according as they are with or without sin.I am tender and loving in My nature,and yet a terrible judge of evil deeds.I require from My friends childlike awe,and confiding love,in order that awe may restrain them from sin,and love unite them to Me in faith.
CHAPTER IX.The Second Thing.--Why God,After Rejoicing The Heart,Often Withdraws Himself From His Friends,By Which His True Presence is Made Known The Servant.
--Lord,all has been explained to my heart's satisfaction,except one thing.In truth,Lord,when a soul is quite exhausted with yearning after Thee and the sweet caresses of Thy presence,then,Lord,art Thou silent and sayest not a word.O Lord!ought not this to grieve my heart,that Thou,my tender Lord,Thou who art my only one love,and the sole desire of my heart,shouldst yet behave Thyself so strangely,and in such a way hold Thy peace?
Eternal Wisdom.--And yet do all creatures cry aloud to Me that it is I.
The Servant.--O dear Lord!that is not enough for a languishing soul.
Eternal Wisdom.--If every little word I utter is a little word of love to their hearts,and every word of the Sacred Scriptures written by Me is a sweet love-letter,as though I Myself had written it,ought this not to be enough for them?
The Servant.--O Lord,Thou knowest well that to a loving heart everything that is not its only love and its only consolation,is insufficient.Lord,Thou art so very intimate,choice,and fathomless a love;lo!if even all the tongues of all the angels were to address me,love unfathomable would still pursue and strive after Him alone whom it longs for.A loving soul would still take Thee for the kingdom of heaven,for surely Thou art her heaven.Alas!Lord,may I venture to say that Thou shouldst be a little more favourable to such poor affectionate hearts as pine and languish for Thee,as breathe out so many an unfathomable sigh to Thee,as look up so yearningly to Thee,crying aloud from their very hearts,Return to us,O Lord!and speaking and reasoning with themselves thus:"Have we cause to think we have angered Him,and that He will forsake us?Have we cause to think He will not give us His loving presence back again,so that we may affectionately embrace Him with the arms of our hearts,and press Him to our bosoms till all our sorrow vanish?Lord,all this Thou knowest and hearest,and yet Thou art silent!"
Eternal Wisdom.--I know it and see it with heart-felt eager joy.But now,since thy wonder is so great,answer Me a question.What is that which,of all things,gives the most delight to the highest of created spirits?
The Servant.--Lord,I would fain learn this from Thee,for such a question is too great for my understanding.
Eternal Wisdom.--Then I will tell Thee.Nothing tastes better to the very highest angel than,in all things,to do My will;so that if he knew that it would tend to My praise to root up nettles,and other weeds it would be for him,of all things,the most desirable to perform.
The Servant.--Ah,Lord,how dost Thou strike home to me with this question!For surely Thy meaning is,that I ought to keep myself disengaged and serene in joy,and seek Thy praise alone,both in sorrow and delight.
Eternal Wisdom.--A desertion above all desertion is to be deserted in desertion.
The Servant.--Alas!Lord,but it is a very heavy woe.
Eternal Wisdom.--Where is virtue preserved except in adversity?Yet know that I often come and ask for admission into my house,and am denied.
