"But when the wolves and the white crows shall dwell together between Corinth and Sicyon..."PITHETAERUS
But how do the Corinthians concern me?
ORACLE-MONGER
It is the regions of the air that Bacis indicates in this manner."They must first sacrifice a white-fleeced goat to Pandora, and give the prophet who first reveals my words a good cloak and new sandals."PITHETAERUS
Does it say sandals there?
ORACLE-MONGER
Look at the book."And besides this a goblet of wine and a good share of the entrails of the entrails of the victim."PITHETAERUS
Of the entrails-does it say that?
ORACLE-MONGER
Look at the book."If you do as I command, divine youth, you shall be an eagle among the clouds; if not, you shall be neither turtle-dove, nor eagle, nor woodpecker."PITHETAERUS
Does it say all that?
ORACLE-MONGER
Look at the book.
PITHETAERUS
This oracle in no sort of way resembles the one Apollo dictated to me: "If an impostor comes without invitation to annoy you during the sacrifice and to demand a share of the victim, apply a stout stick to his ribs."ORACLE-MONGER
You are drivelling.
PITHETAERUS
Look at the book."And don't spare him, were he an eagle from out of the clouds, were it Lampon himself or the great Diopithes."ORACLE-MONGER
Does it say that?
PITHETAERUS
Look at the book and go and hang yourself.
ORACLE-MONGER
Oh! unfortunate wretch that I am.
(He departs.)
PITHETAERUS
Away with you, and take your prophecies elsewhere.
(Enter METON, With surveying instruments.)METON
I have come to you...
PITHETAERUS (interrupting)
Yet another pest! What have you come to do? What's your plan?
What's the purpose of your journey? Why these splendid buskins?
METON
I want to survey the plains of the air for you and to parcel them into lots.
PITHETAERUS
In the name of the gods, who are you?
METON
Who am I? Meton, known throughout Greece and at Colonus.
PITHETAERUS
What are these things?
METON
Tools for measuring the air.In truth, the spaces in the air have precisely the form of a furnace.With this bent ruler I draw a line from top to bottom; from one of its points I describe a circle with the compass.Do you understand?
PITHETAERUS
Not in the least.
METON
With the straight ruler I set to work to inscribe a square within this circle; in its centre will be the market-place, into which all the straight streets will lead, converging to this centre like a star, which, although only orbicular, sends forth its rays in a straight line from all sides.
PITHETAERUS
A regular Thales! Meton...
METON
What d'you want with me?
PITHETAERUS
I want to give you a proof of my friendship.Use your legs.
METON
Why, what have I to fear?
PITHETAERUS
It's the same here as in Sparta.Strangers are driven away, and blows rain down as thick as hail.
METON
Is there sedition in your city?
PITHETAERUS
No, certainly not.
METON
What's wrong then?
PITHETAERUS
We are agreed to sweep all quacks and impostors far from our borders.
METON
Then I'll be going.
PITHETAERUS
I'm afraid it's too late.The thunder growls already.
(He beats him.)
METON
Oh, woe! oh, woe!
PITHETAERUS
I warned you.Now, be off, and do your surveying somewhere else.
(METON takes to his heels.He is no sooner gone than an INSPECTORarrives.)
INSPECTOR
Where are the Proxeni?
PITHETAERUS
Who is this Sardanapalus?
INSPECTOR
I have been appointed by lot to come to Nephelococcygia.as inspector.
PITHETAERUS
An inspector! and who sends you here, you rascal?
INSPECTOR
A decree of Teleas.
PITHETAERUS
Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and get out?
INSPECTOR
Indeed I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend the Assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces.
PITHETAERUS
Take it then, and get on your way.This is your salary.
(He beats him.)
INSPECTOR
What does this mean?
PITHETAERUS
This is the assembly where you have to defend Pharnaces.
INSPECTOR
You shall testify that they dare to strike me, the inspector.
PITHETAERUS
Are you not going to get out with your urns? It's not to be believed; they send us inspectors before we have so much as paid sacrifice to the gods.
(The INSPECTOR goes into hiding.A DEALER IN DECREES arrives.)DEALER IN DECREES (reading)
"If the Nephelococcygian does wrong to the Athenian..."PITHETAERUS
What trouble now? What book is that?
DEALER IN DECREES
I am a dealer in decrees, and I have come here to sell you the new laws.
PITHETAERUS
Which?
DEALER IN DECREES
"The Nephelococcygians shall adopt the same weights, measures and decrees as the Olophyxians."PITHETAERUS
And you shall soon be imitating the Ototyxians.
(He beats him.)
DEALER IN DECREES
Ow! what are you doing?
PITHETAERUS
Now will you get out of here with your decrees? For I am going to let you see some severe ones.
(The DEALER IN DECREES departs; the INSPECTOR comes out of hiding.)INSPECTOR (returning)
I summon Pithetaerus for outrage for the month of Munychion.
PITHETAERUS
Ha! my friend! are you still here?
(The DEALER IN DECREES also returns.)
DEALER IN DECREES
"Should anyone drive away the magistrates and not receive them, according to the decree duly posted..."PITHETAERUS
What! rascal! you are back too?
(He rushes at him.)
INSPECTOR
Woe to you! I'll have you condemned to a fine of ten thousand drachmae.
PITHETAERUS
And I'll smash your urns.
INSPECTOR
Do you recall that evening when you crapped on the column where the decrees are posted?
PITHETAERUS
Here! here! let him be seized.(The INSPECTOR runs off.) Why, don't you want to stay any longer? But let us get indoors as quick as possible; we will sacrifice the goat inside.
FIRST SEMI-CHORUS (singing)
Henceforth it is to me that mortals must address their sacrifices and their prayers.Nothing escapes my sight nor my might.
