登陆注册
20397900000031

第31章 Phase The Fifth The Woman Pays(8)

In time she reached the edge of the vast escarpment below which stretched the loamy Vale of Blackmoor, now lying misty and still in the dawn.Instead of the colourless air of the uplands the atmosphere down there was a deep blue.Instead of the great enclosures of a hundred acres in which she was now accustomed to toil th ere were little fields below h er of less th an half-a-dozen acres, so nu merous that they looked from this height lik e the meshes of a net.Here the landscape was whitey-brown; down there, as in Froo m Valley, it was always green.Yet it was in that vale that her sorr ow had taken shape, and s he did not love it as formerly.Beauty to her, as to all who have felt, lay not in the thing, but in what the thing symbolized.

Keeping the V ale on her right sh e steered s teadily westward; passin g above the Hintocks, crossing at right-angles the high-road from Sherton-Abbas to Casterbridge, and skirting Dogbury Hill and HighStoy, with the dell between them called“The Devi l's Kitchen.”S till fo llowing the elevated way she reached Cro ss-in-Hand, where the stone p illar stands deso late and silen t, to mark th e site of a miracle, o r murder, or bo th.Three miles further sh e cut across th e straigh t and d eserted Ro man road called Long-As h Lan e; leaving which as soon as she reached it she dipped down a hill by a transverse lane into the s mall town or villag e of Eversh ead, being n ow about half-way over the distance.She made a halt here, and breakfasted a second time, h eartily enough—not at th e Sow-and-Acorn, for sh e avoid ed inns, but at a cottage by the church.

The second half of her journey was through a more gentle country, by way of Benvill Lane.Bu t as the mileage lessened between her and the spo t of her pilgrimage, so did T ess's confidence decrease, and her enter prise loo m ou t more formidably.She saw her purpo se in such s taring lines, and the landscapeso faintly, that she was sometimes in danger of losing her way.However, about noon she paused by a gate on the edge of the basin in which Emminster and its Vicarage lay.

The square tower, beneath which sh e knew that at that moment the Vicar and his congregation were gathered, had a severe look in her eyes.She wished that she had so mehow contrived to come on a weekday.Such a good man might be prejudiced against a woman who had chosen Sunday, never realizing'the necessities of her cas e.But it was incu mbent upon her to go on now.She took off the thick boots in which she had walked thus far, put on her pretty thin ones of patent leath er, and, stuffing the former into the hedge by the gate-post where she might readily find them again, descended the hill; the freshness of colour she h ad derived from the keen air thin ning away in spite of her as she drew near the parsonage.

Tess hoped for some accident that might favour her, but nothing favoured her.The shrubs on the Vicarage lawn rustled uncomfortably in the frosty breeze; she could not feel by any stretch of imagination, dressed to her highest as she was, that th e house was the residence of near relations; and y et nothin g essential, in nature or emotion, d ivided her fro m th em:in pains, pleas ures, thoughts, birth, death, and afterdeath, they were the same.

She nerved herself by an ef fort, entered the swing-gate, and rang the door-bell.The thing was done; there could be no retreat.No; the thing was not done.Nobody answered to her r inging.The effort had to be risen to and made again.She r ang a secon d time, and the agitation of the act, coupled with her weariness af ter th e fif teen miles'walk, led her to support her self while she waited by resting her hand on her h ip, and her elbow against the wall of the porch.The wind was so nipping that the ivy-leaves had become wizened and gray, each tapping incessandy upon its neighb our with a disquieting stir of her nerves.A p iece of b lood-stained paper, caught up fro m so me meat-buyer's dustheap, beat up and do wn the road without the gate; too f limsy to rest, too heavy to fly away; and a few straws kept it company.

The second peal had been louder, and still nobody came.Then she walked out of the po rch, opened the gate, and passed through.And though she looked dubiously at the house-f ront as if inclined to return, I t was with a br eath ofrelief that she closed the gate.A feeling haunted her that she might have been recognized(though how she could not tell), and orders been given not to admit her.

Tess went as far as th e corner.Sh e had don e all she co uld do; bu t determined not to escap e present trepidation at the expense of future dis tress, she walked back again quite past the house, looking up at all the windows.

Ah—the ex planation was that th ey were all at church, every one.Sh e remembered her husban d say ing th at h is father alway s in sisted up on th e household, servants included, going to morning-service, and, as a consequence, eating cold f ood when they came home.I t was, therefore, o nly necessary to wait ti ll the servi ce was over.She would not make herself conspicuo us by waiting on the spot, and she started to get past the church into the lane.But as she reached the churchyard-gate the people began pouring out, and Tess found herself in the midst of them.

The Emminster congregation looked at her as only a congregation of small country-townsfolk walking home at its leisure can look at a woman out of the common wh om it per ceives to b e a stranger.S he quickened her pace, and ascended the road by which she had come, to f ind a retreat between its hedges till the Vicar's family should have lunched, and it might b e conven ient for them to receive her.She soon distanced the churchgoers, except two youngish men, who, linked arm-in-arm, were beating up behind her at a quick-step.

As they dre w nearer she could hear their voices engaged in earnes t discourse, and, with the natural quickness of a woman in h er situation, did not fail to reco gnize in tho se voices the quality of her husban d's tones.The pedestrians were his tw o broth ers.Forgetting a ll her pl ans, Tess's one d read was lest they should ov ertake her now, in her d isorganized condition, before she was p repared to co nfront them; for though she felt that th ey could not identify her she instinc tively dreade d their scru tiny.The m ore briskly th ey walked the more briskly walked she.They were plainly bent upon taking a short quick stroll before going indoors to lunch or dinner, to restore warmth to limbs chilled with sitting through a long service.

Only one person had preceded Tess up the hill—a ladylike young woman, somewhat interesting, though, perhaps, a trif le guindée and prudish.Tess hadnearly overtaken her wh en the sp eed of her bro thers-in-law brought them so nearly behind her back that she cou ld hear every word of their convers ation.They said nothing, however, which particularly interested her till, observing the young lady still further in front, one of them remarked, “There is Mercy Chant.Let us overtake her.”

Tess knew the name.It was the woman who had been destined for Angel's life-companion by his and her parents, and whom he pr obably would have married bu t for her in trusive self.She would hav e known as much witho ut previous inf ormation if she had waited a m oment, for one of the brothers proceeded to say:“Ah!poor Angel, poor Angel!I never s ee that nice gir l without more and more regretting his precip itancy in throwin g himself away upon a dairy maid, or whatever she may be.It is a queer bus iness, apparently.Whether she has joined him yet or n ot I don't know; but she had not done so some months ago when I heard from him.”

“I can't say.He n ever tells me any thing nowad ays.His illconsidered marriage se ems to have comple ted that es trangement fro m m e whi ch was begun by his extraordinary opinions.”

Tess beat u p the long hill still fas ter; but she could no t outwalk the m without exciting notice.At last they outsped her altogether, and passed her by.The young lady still further ahead heard their footsteps and turned.Then there was a greeting and a shaking of hands, and the three went on together.

They soon r eached th e s ummit of th e hill, and, evidently in tending th is point to be the lim it, of their pro menade, slackened pace and turned all three aside to the gate whereat T ess had paused an hour befor e that time to reconnoitre the town before descending into it.D uring their discourse one of the clerical brothers probed the hedge carefully with his umbrella, and dragged something to light.

“Here's a pa ir of old boo ts, ”he said.“Thrown away, I suppose, by some tramp or other.”

“Some impostor who wished to come into the town harefoot, perhaps, and so excite our sympathies, ”said Miss Chant.“Yes, it must have been, for they are excellent walking-boots—by no means worn out.What a wicked thing to do!I'll carry them home for some poor person.”

Cuthbert Clare, who had been the one to find them, picked them up for her with the crook of his stick; and Tess's boots were appropriated.

She, who had heard this, walked past under the screen of her woollen veil, till, presently looking back, she perceived that the church party had left the gate with her boots and retreated down the hill.

Thereupon our hero ine resu med h er walk.Tears, blind ing tears, were running do wn her face.She knew thatit was all sen timent, all baselessimpressibility, which had causedher to read the scen e as h er owncondemnation; nevertheless she could not get over it; she could not contravene in her own d efenceless person all th ese untoward omens.It was im possible to think of returning to the Vicarage.Angel's wife felt almost as if she h ad been hounded up that h ill like a scorned thing by those—to her—superfine clerics.Innocently as the slight had been inflicted, it was so mewhat unfortunate that she had encountered the sons and not the father, who, despite his narrowness, was far less starched and ironed than they, and had to the full the gift of charity.As she again thought of her dusty boots she almost pitied those habiliments for the quizzing to which they had been subjected, and felt how hopeless life was for their owner.

“Ah!”she said, still sig hing in p ity of herself, “they didn't know that I wore those over the ro ughest p art o f the road to save these pretty ones he bought for me—no—they did not know it!And they didn't think that he chose the co lour o'm y pretty frock—no—how could they?If they had known perhaps they would no t have cared, for th ey don't care much for h im, po or thing!”

Then she gr ieved for the beloved man whose conventional standard of judgment had caused her all these latter sorrows; and she went her way without knowing that the greates t misfortu ne of her lif e was this feminine loss of courage at the last and critical moment through her estimating her father-in-law by his sons.Her present condition was precisely one which would have enlisted the sympathies of old Mr.and Mrs.Clare.Their h earts went o ut of them at a bound towar ds extreme cases, when the subtle mental trou bles of th e less desperate among mankind failed to win their interest or regard.In ju mping at Publicans an d Sinners th ey would for get that a word might be said fo r theworries of Scribes and Pharisees; and this defect or li mitation m ight hav e recommended their own daughter-in-law to them at th is moment as a fairly choice sort of lost person for their love.

Thereupon she began to plod back along the road by which she had come not altogether full of hope, but full of a conviction that a crisis in her life was approaching.No crisis, apparently, had supervened; and there was nothing left for her to d o but to con tinue up on that star veacre far m till she could ag ain summon courage to face the Vicarage.She did, indeed, take sufficient interest in herself to throw up her veil on this return journey, as if t o let the world see that she could at least exhibit a face such as Mercy Chant could not show.But it was done with a sorry shake of the head.“It is nothing—it is nothing!”s he said.“Nobody loves it; nobody sees it.Who cares about the looks of a castaway like me!”

Her journey back was rather ameander than a march.It had nosprightliness, no purpose; only a tendency.Along the tedious length of BenvillLane sh e b egan to gro w tired, an d she lean t upon gates and paused by mile-stones.

She did not enter any house till, at the seven th or eighth mile, sh e descended the steep lo ng hill belo w which lay the villag e or townlet of Evershead, where in the m orning sh e had breakf asted with s uch contrasting expectations.The co ttage by the chur ch, in which she again s at down, was almost t he f irst a t that e nd of the v illage, and w hile th e wo man f etched her some milk from the pantry, Tess, looking down the street, p erceived that the place seemed quite deserted.

“The people are gone to afternoon service, I suppose?”she said.

“No, my dear, ”said the old woman.“'Tis too soon for that; the bells hain't strook out yet.They be all gone to h ear the preaching in y onder barn.A ranter preaches there between the serv ices—an excellent, f iery, Christian man, they say.But, Lord, I don't go to hear'n!What comes in the regu lar way over the pulpit is hot enough for I.”

Tess soon w ent onward into the village, her footsteps echoing against the houses as th ough it wer e a place of the dead.Nearing th e cen tral p art her echoes were intrud ed on by other sounds; and seeing th e barn not far of f the road, she guessed these to be the utterances of the preacher.

His voice became so distinct in the still clear air that she could soon catch his sentences, though she was on the closed side of the barn.The sermon, as might be ex pected, was of the extremest antinomian type, on justification by faith, as expounded in the theology of St.Paul.This fixed idea of the rhapsodist was delivered with animated enthusiasm, in a manner entirely declamatory, for he had plainly no skill as a dialectic ian.Although T ess had not heard the beginning of the address, she learn t what the text had been from its cons tant iteration—

“O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you?”

Tess was all the more interested, as s he stood listening behind, in f inding that the preacher's doctrine was a vehement form of the views of Angel's father, and her interest intensified when the speaker b egan to de tail his own spirit ual experiences of how he had co me by those views.He had, he said, been the greatest of sinners.He had scof fed; he had wantonly associated with the reckless and the lewd.But a day of awakening had co me, and, in a hu man sense, it had been brought about mainly by the influence of a certain clergyman, whom he had at f irst grossly insulted; but whose parting words had sunk into his heart, and had remained there, till by the grace of Heaven th ey had worked this change in him, and made him what they saw him.

But more s tartling to Tess than the doctrine h ad been th e vo ice, which, impossible as i t se emed, wa s prec isely t hat of Alec d'Urberville.He r fa ce fixed in painful suspense she came ro und to the front of the barn, and p assed before it.The low w inter sun b eamed dir ectly upon th e gr eat doubledoored entrance on this side; one of the doors being open, so that the rays stretched far in over the threshing-floor to the preacher and his audience, all snugly sheltered from the northern breeze.The lis teners were en tirely v illagers, a mong th em being th e man whom sh e had seen carry ing the red paint-p ot on a former memorable occasion.B ut her a ttention was giv en to th e ce ntral f igure, who stood upon some sacks of corn, facing the peo ple and the d oor.Th e thr ee o'clock sun shone full upon him, and the strange enervating conviction that her seducer confronted her, which had been gaining ground in Tess ever since she had heard his words distinctly, was at last established as a fact indeed.

同类推荐
  • 猎人特战队

    猎人特战队

    茂密的植被之下,四个身穿迷彩的战士一字排开。一个穿着同样迷彩,身材高大的家伙正在讲话:欢迎各位来到猎人特战队新兵训练基地,我是你们新兵教官猎豹,猎人代号747。当我还是猎人新兵的时候觉得这里是地狱,但现在我觉得不够准确。于弱者来说这里是地狱,但于强者来说这里是天堂:强者的天堂。《猎人特战队》主要讲述四个精英特种兵被招入中国战略级特种部队后在一次次的实战中强大息身,保家为国的故事。
  • 宅男生活大爆炸

    宅男生活大爆炸

    《宅男生活大爆炸》讲述了搞怪的销售导购周星星、乐天派的“麦当当”快餐店员工老K、酷酷的“肯得得”快餐店员工祥林、精明的小技术员条子、爱钻牛角尖的酒吧调酒师阿叉和娘娘腔的实习生大头,合租在一起的六个可爱年轻人,宅出了无数笑话。桩桩日常琐事,恶搞残酷现实,都市宅男传说,爆笑乐翻天。
  • 丹凤街

    丹凤街

    张恨水先生在中国现代文学史上有着重要的地位。他一生写小说100多部,其作品有着极其深远的影响。80年代来,他的作品经久不衰。几年来他的很多作品被搬上屏幕,再度展现了其深厚的文化魅力和艺术感染力,在众多的读者和观众中有相当的地位。
  • 逐鹿北京

    逐鹿北京

    小说虽然是以出版业为载体展开故事,但实际上讲的都是“外地人”在“大城市”如何打拼谋生的故事——这是一个当下时代的热点题材。做传销起家的老曹带着资本来到北京加盟了孙军创立的的AAA文化公司,经过一番博弈较量,孙军成功地全身而退,老曹则如愿地接手公司,在石大兴和阿漆的辅佐下,不仅顽强地生存了下来,而且把公司进一步做大。之后,羽翼渐丰的石大兴、阿漆分别以不同的方式离开公司自立门户,老曹开始走下坡路,他奋力挣扎,直至最终关门倒闭。另一边,石大兴、阿漆艰难打拼,逐步成长为新一代民营出版商,沉稳的石大兴越做越大,阿漆则始终在谋求突围与振兴。
  • 世界最佳微型小说精华(第一卷)

    世界最佳微型小说精华(第一卷)

    本书精选国内外著名作家的经典微型小说几百篇,这些作品从不同层面描绘了不同时代、不同民族、不同国度的社会生活,塑造了一个个思想各异、个性鲜明的人物形象,反映了人与人之间错综复杂的关系,揭示了不同国家的社会风貌、不同民族的思想倾向,在思想性和艺术性方面都有独到之处。
热门推荐
  • 神秘千金的逗逼总裁

    神秘千金的逗逼总裁

    “小怪物”的身份一个又一个,哪个才是最真的她?他和她都在寻求答案。当年的故事真相是什么?
  • 寒梅剑

    寒梅剑

    天下之大,唯我独尊,这是很多人追去的境界。然而,要达到真正的巅峰,不仅仅是刻苦的修炼,天赋、智谋,也同样重要!一个孤儿,他的出生便是伴随着杀戮和死亡。所谓大难不死,必有后福。可是幸福这东西,每个人对他的定义都不一样,我们的主人公,将会如何定义和找寻属于他的幸福呢?且看我们的主人公,如何一步一个走来,去触及那武学的巅峰!
  • 百世药王

    百世药王

    归途,何处才是我的归途……遥远的空间传来一声声呼唤。一段短片唤醒一缕残魂。一个弱者撑起一片天空。谁能告诉我。残魂是不是残魂?弱者是不是弱者?他是一个俗人,俗得掉渣。美女要不要?要!金钱有木有?有!他活的现实,却牢牢抓住自己的灵魂。他活的洒脱,却紧紧受到命运的束缚。硝烟弥漫的商场,崎岖坎坷的前路,危机重重的星空……哪一处没有他的身影?生得一副大好男儿身。既然早已归来,就要展现他的强者姿态。且看他如何笑傲风云,雷动九霄。………………新书开张,各位美女跪求:收藏点击票票给点力吧,人家在书中等着你哟!
  • 尘埃里的花

    尘埃里的花

    这是一本作者的散文集。 本书共分五辑,精选了作者近年来在《文艺报》、《天津日报》、《扬子晚报》、《雨花》、《青春》、《芒种》、《青海湖》、《散文选刊》等报刊上发表过的作品。
  • 青春不羁才闪亮

    青春不羁才闪亮

    和我来一场说走就走的青春旅行里面的故事都是青春的故事青春的故事很长每一则故事都像你我正值青春时的故事那时的我们喜欢冰淇淋,那时的我们爱追星,那是的我们总是喝珍珠奶茶,我期待......期待正值青春的你看到这本书期待你在阳光下嗅着芬芳的花香阅读欣赏期待我们在书中相遇期待我们有着共同的爱好期待你有你的理想和目标期待你向着天空展翅翱翔期待你苦尽甘甜的收获和心中不变的信仰期待你身边也有这样的主人公期待你的青春散发光芒的闪亮
  • 太子和休经

    太子和休经

    本书为公版书,为不受著作权法限制的作家、艺术家及其它人士发布的作品,供广大读者阅读交流。汇聚授权电子版权。
  • 极限猎手

    极限猎手

    无限瑰丽的宇宙,所有欲望与梦想所在的无限之海。但那注定是属于生活在美丽的“天空之城”,天生能够与“LN”任一型号相合的所谓“上等人。而像姜飞这样,因天生无法与任一高等“LN”芯片相合的“废柴”,则只能生活在昏暗,脏乱的工业地下之城,每天被“上等人”蔑称为“下等人”“贱民”。但当姜飞得到“L1N”植入芯片。梦,也就不在是梦了,一切,唾手可得,欲望,得以实现。
  • 说话恰到好处,办事水到渠成

    说话恰到好处,办事水到渠成

    这是一个风云激荡的年代,这是一个机会频生、奇迹迭出的时代,这是一个人人都渴望成功的时代,每个人都必须在竞争中求生存,必须在思考和学习中塑造自己。《说话恰到好处,办事水到渠成》让你说话办事,做到不卑不亢,圆滑中有果断,果断中有圆滑,做到“到什么山唱什么歌,见什么人说什么话。”让你的话合乎人心,自然柔和亲近,刚柔并济,逢凶化吉,转难为易,从而促使你办事水到渠成。
  • 故事与解释

    故事与解释

    本书精选世界文学史上的传世之作21部,从社会历史、人生历程、文学艺术的广角,细细品味这些文学经典的深刻寓意和永久魅力。不同于集体合作式的教材,这部个人撰写的专著式教材更具个性和浙江大学的“求是”特色,特别体现学术追求与有亲和力之交流间的有机结合。此次修改也会注意更加符合现实需求和学生需求。
  • 等我来砍你

    等我来砍你

    意外永远不止一次,可是为什么我的一次往往是连续的。——柴柴等着我哦,一会儿我就来砍你哟。——日白